It was so helpful to be able to work with classmates and give and receive feedback about our writing pieces. Reading other's writing and seeing their writing moves is always a great way to get ideas about one's own work. I spent time reading the pieces by my other classmates and found every one's stories inspirational and found their ways of expressing these tales wonderful. I also really enjoyed my time in class dialoguing with Alessia and Danielle. The feedback I received from them during our conference was positive and helpful. I plan on taking a deeper look at my piece and exploring some of the suggestions made.
The biggest area that my classmates felt I needed to revise was clarification on some of my transitions. To be more specific, there are a few areas in the piece where I am not clear between my segments and the transitions become fuzzy. I need to go back and be sure to clean up those areas. I need to look through certain scenes and add in explanation. Perhaps I can also look back at the "funeral" scenes and add in more descriptive detail.
My biggest area of concern is my ending. I feel it reads rushed and obvious. Firstly, I feel that there needs to be more information/scenes about what happens to me after the funeral, after he is gone. Yes, he was buried, but my feelings of detriment continued. I had an even harder time in the first year after he passed away with my guilt and beating myself up than I did when he first died. It took a long time for my realization to come. That realization that he most definitely was not worthy of the pedestal I had created for him, and that he did damage to me, took time. I had to heal and really reflect back on what our relationship was. I feel that the ending I have now is too quick and blurts out what my discovery was. I do not want to be obvious. I keep thinking of Dr. Chandler's question about the conceptual thread that holds this piece together and what the big idea is that I am truly contemplating. The truth is it is not only what I discover about him, but what I learn about myself. If I want this to be a successful piece I need to get to work on this ending!
Hopefully I will draw some inspiration from the readings we have been discussing in class and from Dr. Chandler's wisdom during our conference.
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